All Along Have I Wished For You
by AlinaLotus
Summary: It isn't the fall that kills you, it's the landing. Continuation of But I Have Fallen.


**I will be following the events in the movie, Return Of The King, for this. I am aware that things play out differently in the book, but I wanted to use certain scenes from the movie.**

**This was written in response to anfieldgyul's request to wrap up But I Have Fallen. I hope it's what you were looking for! Enjoy.**

She decides to follow him. It's really her main motivation for donning her sword and riding off into battle, though her heart does long to fight for, and protect, her country and her friends. For now she has them--friends. Merry and Pippen, who make her laugh and rejoice and think that maybe, tomorrow will be better. Legolas, who is fair and shares with her the ancient wisdom of his people, who makes her think that the world could really be as beautiful as he is. Gimli, who gives her hope with his stoutness, and Gandalf who is more powerful than anybody she has ever known.

And _him. _Aragorn, the man she has fallen utterly and irrevocably for. It was a mistake from the beginning, she knows, but she didn't care then, nor does she care now.

"It isn't the fall, sweet one, that kills you," her mother said to, as she lay cold and gray and almost dead on the grassy tomb of her father, "it's the landing."

---

When he leaves her, dismisses her with a touch of his rough, leather-clad hand, she falls. She falls into the Mountain of Fire (or she wishes she had), burning and melting and screaming and it is nothing less than the most horrific of pains. But then, she knows about physical pain, and she does not fear those kind of things. She wishes it was just that, just the pricking and slicing of hundreds, thousands, of swords, the breaking and smashing of her bones.

"What other duty would you have me do, my Lord?" She asks her uncle, the man who should've loved her and cared for her like a father. But Theoden, great though he is in battle and strong and proud and noble on the throne of her country, has failed to protect her, to guard her and warn her against the onslaught that a broken heart brings.

She should've known she'd follow the fate of her mother, broken and alone and dead inside.

"Duty? No. I would have you smile again, not grieve for those whose time is come. You shall live to see these days renewed. No more despair." He takes her face in his hands and presses his forehead to her, and she pretends for a moment that she is the woman her uncle, her king, would like her to be.

---

"It is but a thought, and a shadow that you love. I cannot give you what you seek." His fingers are not as gentle as she wished they would have been, and his eyes are in turmoil. He doesn't like the idea of hurting her--not because he holds her high in his heart, but because of his nature, he does not wish harm, physical or no, to come to any thing, especially by his doing. That will be the worst memory of her life.

She would like to curse him, to hate him, but still, even after the tears are utterly spent and he body aches for him, she can only feel longing and love for him. And so she lands--and it's the landing, as her mother told her all those years ago, that kills her.

---

She would follow him, blind and all fours if that's what it took. She dresses in the mail and helmet of her brother--he won't miss a few pieces of armor, she is sure. Even if he does, she will be out of his reach. Her reflection off of the small pool of drinking water for their horses is unfamiliar, and she is confident that none of the men who know her would recognize her.

Merry rides with her, and they fight for their friends. She fights for Aragorn, because she wants him to be victorious, in the end. She understands that every king needs a queen, and if his elf maiden is across the sea then he will have to choose another. He doesn't have to love her as she loves him, or at all, really, but she needs him. He is essential to her survival, and she would rather be slain in battle than go on without him.

---

Eomer finds her, in the end.

She's lost almost everything--her uncle, the only father she's known for many years. She can feel the absence of him, of his spirit and life, and it is the same kind of pain that Aragorn handed her when he abandoned her.

She wished Aragorn would've discovered her, would've carried her and wept for her and professed love for her. But she learned long ago that wishes don't come true, even for a daughter of kings.

---

The stone paved floor of Minas Tirith comes up and slams into her the day of his coronation. He has yet to speak to her, though he is the one that healed her. He tended to her and stared at her and saved her life, he didn't leave her side for hours, possibly days, and yet no word did he say to her.

But she didn't speak to him, either. She doesn't trust herself to talk around him, afraid she will drive him off, yet again. But hope grows in her, as his touches are more frequent and their eyes lock and gaze and she thinks that he is sorry, that he does love her.

And then she, the beautiful elf, appeared, and Eowyn was utterly broken. There was no battle, no epic choice to be made between Evenstar, daughter of Elrond and the most fair in all of Middle Earth, and Eowyn, brash and dependant on her strength, a little less than ugly and always aching for something.

She smiles and her hand is tight in Faramir's grasp, but inside she is bleeding and shattered. Faramir knows this, and he looks over to her and pulls her under his arm.

A chill crawls up her neck, and she feels comfort at the closeness of the Gondor captain. Maybe, she thinks, as her eyes meet his, wishes can come true for her.


End file.
